It’s a common excuse for a failed relationship: compatibility. If being compatible is so dear to the sustenance of any romantic relationship, then any couple in love or something like that, should do well to keep an eye on it.
While there’s no sure and totally foolproof method of knowing if you’re both compatible, these five factors can be quite helpful in gauging the health of your relationship.
1. Best of Friends
You’re the best of friends. You both know how to spend time in each other’s company, laugh together, disagree, fight and make up easily. You’re both drawn to the other’s personality by something you can’t place and your friendship is especially different from what you have with your other friends. Making conversation comes easy and when you both get it on, you can be at it for quite some time. You’ve got each other’s back and you’re simply the best of companions.
2. You See a Common Future
There should be some convergence in your plans and goals for the future. Unwillingness from one or both partners to make sacrifices that will be beneficial to the relationship and its future, can spell doom. How well are you factored into your partner’s future plans?
If one partner for instance is bent on pursuing a costly postgraduate education overseas or wants to travel the world at the expense of the relationship, that’s something to be concerned about.
3. Sexual Compatibility
Both of you should be on a similar page when it comes to sexual compatibility. A big asymmetry in your sex drives where one person is not interested in sex and the other wants it at least five times in a week, is a red flag. If both of you don’t have strong sex drives and find all the fulfilment and happiness you desire from other shared interests, that’s fine.
You also need to have similar orientations when it comes to sex. If one partner has an appetite for sex acts that the other finds very unusual or offensive, sex could become a strain on the couple’s happiness instead of tightening their bond.
The problem is that sometimes, you can’t get to know until it’s quite late. Too late if you’re not lucky, so pay attention.
4. Common Values
The two of you should have some similarity in your personal values. Does one partner think there’s nothing wrong with flirting, while the other takes it very personal? Does one consider having children an inexcusable duty of every married couple, while the other is completely apathetic or very much opposed to it? What would you not do for money? What is morally unacceptable to you?
5. Shared Level of Intellect
This one doesn’t need to be so high. We love more with our hearts than with our minds so couples who have very different levels of intelligence can still find themselves in the best of relationships.
That said, it’s very good if you’re compatible in your intelligence and you can both understand and laugh at the same jokes, grasp the same flattery and read similar meanings into any given situation.